Where have I been all my life?

Okay, so I haven't blogged since September! (sssh, I know - I'm sorry, I'm sorry) But to make up for it, here is a quick run down of what I have been up to the past six months:

  - I've started cheating on this blog with another blog.  It's called Anarchy in the Cellophane and is over at The Skinny.  It's about genderysex things, my favourite topic.

 - In November, Laura and I went down to London for GFEST 2011. It looked like this:

Our sculpture/text piece was picked for the art exhibition which was pretty awesome.  You can see photos of the piece, "The I, the you and the we" (aye, that's right - the same one that was banned from Aberdeen Arts Centre...idiots.) and other superb works from Miss Laura here.  *proud girlfriend grin*

 - Our wee pal Liz got married!  *Aww* We accidentally got her pissed the night before her wedding in the Hard Rock Cafe in Edinburgh with some yummy cocktails.  The carnage looked like this:

 She was singing to Snow Patrol.  It was an amazingly beautiful moment.

 - We got a new cat!  He is called Howl and he is ridiculously loud.  Here is a photo of him and Laura having a wee bosie,

Sadly, our wee girl cat Jesabel passed away in December.  She was beautiful and she looked like this: 

To commemorate our wee cat Bella,  I named my new jewellery side project after her.  You can buy Jesabels necklaces just now from our pal Rachel's new vintage-wear online store CuteVintage.  Jesabels jewels looks like this: 

I am currently working on my own wee online shop and website which should be up and running soon but super thanks to Rachel for stocking my wee jewels.

Also over at Cute Vintage, Miss Raj and I are collaborating on a series of joint blog posts about fashion in 80's/90's movies.  The first one should be up very soon.

Miss Laura has also been super busy of late planning her degree show in June.  She is currently sculpting her own hand in wax.  Previous weekends have involved vacuum packing her in the bedroom with a hoover (not even remotely kinky) and coming home to a blow up sex doll in my living room.  The show is gonna look fucking ace!

Today has consisted of: hazelnut coffee; Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory; making soupystew (I can't decide which one it is); watching Laura cut wires (to go inside the hand) and writing.  Life is pretty good.

Yep, I'm gay!

I'm aware that to most of you who know me, this isn't exactly new information. I've been with Laura for 5 years now and lets be honest, we're not exactly shy when talking about our opinions on feminism; gender and queer related issues. I'm gay. I like being gay. I have a lovely girlfriend and I have an amazing life with her and long may it continue.

I like to think that we haven't had to deal with homophobia on any major level, even at this point in our lives. We haven't been threatened physically in any way for being gay; we don't live in a country where homosexuality is illegal and we aren't in the US military or anything where, up until today, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was a perfectly acceptable way to treat gay soldiers. To be honest, compared to most - we've had a pretty easy ride. When I came out to my Mum at 15 - she was fine! When I (eventually) came out to my way-religious Dad at 18, he wasn't great about it but he didn't stop speaking to me or - so it could have been a lot worse.

However, lately, it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to be subject to the kind of homophobia that is more subtle day-to-day. Homophobia that I, and I'm sure a lot of other people face all the time.

It's quite common when holding hands with Laura while walking down the street, guys will shout "lesbos" or "rug munchers" at us, which as ridiculously comical as it is - is still pathetic in this day and age. Parents will frequently stare us out on the bus if we are holding hands in front of their children - like what we are doing is in anyway more damaging than their parent's own hate-filled opinions.

However, the main source of homophobia that I have to face and live with daily, is a lots closer to home. After the whole vagina debate with Laura's pictures, my Dad and a couple of other members of my family had an issue with the image and the fact that the vagina in question belonged to myself. Although it is disappointing to see our message about sex-positivity being lost, even to my family, it is understandable. We live in a society where nudity is immediately sexualised and seen as taboo. Are we ready yet, really, to start seeing other family members nakedness?! Probably not.

But the part of this whole situation that upset me the most during this whole time, was when my Dad said that the main reason he was upset at the image was the fact that my 13 year old sister might figure out that I was gay, and that was his MAIN problem with it. His main problem. I don't think I've ever been so angry and hurt in my life, especially in a situation I felt I couldn't fight back in.

To give you a little back-story: my Dad and step-mum are going through quite a nasty separation at the moment, and I have been with Laura for 5 years. Someone who wasn't deathly homophobic ma - JUST MAY - see that showing a young person a positive and loving relationship that is lasting - whether it be a gay relationship or not - MIGHT JUST BE OKAY??!! And maybe, just maybe, not something to run away screaming from?!

At this time, I'm still not really sure what the major issue is. The whole thing is a bit vague. Is it that I am an abomination in the eyes of the Lord? Do my family believe those, awfully questionable, aspects of Christianity? Shall I remind them of all the contraception they should probably stop taking and admonish them when they use the Lord's name in vain too? Just to make sure they are sticking to the "rules" see. Or has it become perfectly acceptable to use and abuse the Bible as you wish and declaring that GOD MEANT TO SAY that homosexuality is still wrong but everything else is up for chat?! Is that pretty standard now? God hates fags but everything else is okay yeah?

Or maybe, the fam hold a belief that I go around recruiting lesbians far and wide and because they already have one in their midst - that's plenty. We wouldn't want another one now would we?! How do I answer this?! Do I explain the obvious, that gayness is innate and not conditioned? Do I tell them that no amount of exposure to lesbians will turn my sister gay? Is this even the issue?

If I bring it up, there is a lot of stuttering and vagueness and not a lot of clarity.

What I want to know, is why is being gay still, after all this time - so taboo. I will gladly have intelligent debate with anyone who can come up with an intelligent line of thought. I haven't heard one thus far.

When I put the link to this blogpost on my Facebook - I shall block it from my Dad (so as not to offend) my sister (so as not to reveal the horrendous truth of her sister's deviant lifestyle) and my Mum (so as not to hear how awesomely okay she is with my gayness and how my Dad is totally unacceptable- as is standard opinion with divorced parents) I shouldn't have to do this but I will. And hear lies my part in the problem...I'm scared. For all my opinions about homophobia on a global scale; abortion laws and regulations for sex workers and all my other opinions that people in my life don't necessarily agree with, ultimately, I'm afraid to tell my family precisely why I think their opinions are complete bollocks and take life into my own hands and tell my sister in the right, positive and drama-free way that I am gay. And that it's okay. In fact, it's better than okay because I am happy. And that's pretty great isn't it? To be happy?

Maybe I'll work up the courage to do it one day but for now part of me is stuck with the realisation that some part of me is enabling these horrendous opinions to continue to exist. Today is not a good day.

My vagina and why it isn't offensive...

This is a photograph from my girlfriend, Laura Duncan's current art exhibition in Aberdeen. It is clearly of a vagina (my vagina actually!) but I think anyone would be pretty hard pushed to call it, in any way, sexually explicit.

This same image, alongside a few of her other works, will be moved tomorrow to a "less visible" area of the exhibition so as not to offend "the public."

What's to offend!?! It's a partially covered close up of genitalia that half of the population own themselves and if anyone knows of someone who didn't come out of someone owning one, I'd really like to know about it! Letting this image be considered offensive is admitting and supporting the notion that we should be ashamed of our own bodies.

To move these artworks to an area where it is less visible is to completely negate the sex-positive message that Laura is trying to convey. Laura and I both stand for freedom of speech and expression. Censorship to this level, over images which aren't in anyway indecent in the first place, is offensive to the public itself. God forbid one could make their own decision whether or not they look at an image!

I heard someone talking about how "children should not be subjected to such indecency," WHAT'S INDECENT?!? They can see the same thing, by looking down!

I'm personally outraged. Everybody that we know, who we respect, are outraged too!


Tomorrow morning at 9.30am, Laura is going down to the Art Centre to remove her artwork rather than have her positive message compromised by such utter nonsense and drivel. We have invited anyone who wishes, to join us in support - either in person or by changing their social networking picture to her "Free Love" image as shown above. By making Facebook, Twitter etc. a sea of "Free Love" we can show solidarity, not only for Laura herself, but also to the point that nudity and our own bodies are in NO way offensive.

All hail the vagina,

Let's watch this space :)

Dusty Springfield, you awesome lady...

I particularly love the cheeky eyeroll Dusty gives off when singing the line, "wear your hair just for him..."


Everybody knows that Dusty was wearing that sexual hairdo for the gayladies.

Hot.

But the dancers? Hmm...what even is that?!

90's fashion and why it is so ridiculously awesome!

It may have come to some people's attention that I tend not to dress like regular people. This is partly poverty based (i.e charity shops/Primark are amazing when you're skint) and partly because normal, beigey clothes bore me and always will.

Sample picture of me aged around three:

I know what you're thinking...what a style icon I was, even in the late 80's!

However, I think I may get laughed at on the street more than usual this year as I've decided that early to mid-nineties fashion is clearly the way to go Spring/Summer 2011 - oh no, no not the Spice Girls 90's, that was a bit shit.

I mean genius. Genius such as this...oh, I feel a top ten coming on:

1. 1994's Liv Tyler

Oh, hello baby blue, mohair, long-sleeved-yet-cropped jumpers! Clearly a staple for any good wardrobe (and as equally useless for any of Scotland's "weathers" - good or bad) this coupled with one of the many Primark grunge-inspired kilts they've got on sale right now and I am good to go! Bargainous!

This outfit will be worn mostly when dancing to "The The" on record shop rooftops when I hang with the likes of Renee Zellwegger.



2. The "Blossom" Hat

Everybody should own a "Blossom" hat. However, I think on this occasion I'll give bad green crochet-cardigans and camel-toe inducing beige culottes a big miss. Plus, we're all aware that the true fashionista of "Blossom" was Six anyways. She was the one who knew how to rock a pinstripe waistcoat/teal bodysuit combo.




3. Vickie from Reality Bites

Now this, this is just beautiful. I mean, people just don't know...what it takes.

You know, we'll let it go that Janeane Garofalo's fringe changes length every two seconds in this film because this film is just greatness. I heart it so much! Everybody needs to wear a blue teadress whilst frequenting their local gas station as they dance like idiots to "My Sharona." In fact, I wholeheartedly believe everybody should dance to "My Sharona" at least once a week. It will make people live longer...

Janeane is amazing so she deserves two photos. Plus, her graduation outfit in this film is my personal favourite.

What you can't see in this picture is the green, strappy, suede sandals she has on with this outfit. Immabe wearing this in about a month. Probably to work. It's hot.


EDIT: Erm, how could I just forget about Lisa Loeb singing at the end of Reality Bites?! She was my fashion icon when I was 15! Check this shit out:

Truly awesome.




4. Shirley Manson

A ten year old Stephanie Torrance spent a lot of time wishing she had red hair and wore luminous shiftdresses ala Garbage frontwoman Shirley Manson. She has subsequently settled for a beautiful red-headed girlfriend, yet still can't find any uber-cute dresses like this! 2011 is the year to step up the search!

5. Romy and Michelle

You can't have one without the other! Cute tops. Cute skirts. Cute gymwear. They make me also want to wear platforms whilst running and only order Diet Cokes with extra cherries when I'm in clubs. Plus, they believe that matchy-matchy is ok. So fuck you Project Runway, what do you know?

This film also has Janeane in it once again. Oh...okay then, let's have another photo:

Argh, she's too cute! Pigtails? A nineties classic, even if you are in your early-thirties!

6. Clueless

This, this is all so cute and preppy. I love this. However, part of me always preferred Tai's awkward outfits before she got madeover.

She's wearing a flannel shirt and a t-shirt with a Troll on it! A Troll! <3
7. Doc Marten's
No, no not just black ankle length ones. I want these ones:

I want to rock some shiny gold calf-length ones! Such a flattering length and colour, they shall clearly go with everything I own!

8. Other such 90's music girlies:-

I'm not a huge Gwen Stefani style fan, however this dress is freakin' cute:

Plus a bindi?! Haha, okay - let's bring back them too :)

Shampoo? Shall we bring this back? No, I jest. This is a mess.

Maybe Alisha's Attic though - some of their outfits were cuuuute

9. Rose McGowan in "The Doom Generation"
I know I keep going on about it but looky look! Look how cute this raincoat is?!

The coat is awesome; the dress is great. I wish I had the bone structure for a bob like this; I need those glasses and my lifelong dream is now to own the coat and this belt buckle:

10. Okay, I can't think of a tenth so here's a picture of Tank Girl for Laura :)

So, in conclusion, nineties fashion is tremendous and I'm gonna be looking quite ridiculous in a town near you quite soon!

I'm off to look on ebay! So excited :)

I just get so happy when they finally let her shop...

When Miss Laura gets home, I think we should go out dressed like this:

And since we are having sober times, it's a perfect opportunity to order plenty of Diet Cokes with extra cherries <3

yes.

Oh, fit like...

Today, is a not-so-fresh day. I seem to have acquired some sort of manflu/cold/icky thing that makes me want to have a big old moan to my girlfriend and demand cuddles and ice cream. Except, she is away in Huntly being an artist or something ;) so I have to man up and do it myself.

Well, almost myself. My flatmate, G, is being super nice making me Fruitsips (do you know how much real Lemsips cost?!) and promising to get me some ice lollies later :) winning.

Today I have achieved the grand sum of zero. I watched "The Breakfast Club" on repeat overnight approximately seven times as I could not be bothered changing the disk. I have made a coffee and eaten an apple (caffiene and vitamin C are my cure for everything) and I have half watched "Napoleon Dynamite" while I piss around on the computer. (Well, whilst dragging my arse out of bed to create my commoncold cure of awesomeness I felt that I had to also bring with me fistfuls of DVD's. I may be ill for sometime and if I hear, "Do I stutter?" one more time I might lose the will to live.

Today, online, I have learned:
- That Edie Segwick was indeed the prettiest of Warhol's superstars. Ingrid Superstar is just no comparison.
- That Almond Milk is the apparently the tastiest of all milk replacements and according to the "Vegan Forum" I am going to Hell.
- That Billy Corgan is dating one of "The Veronicas" (wow, I feel super-enriched now!)
- That it will cost me £3500 to do the Creative Writing MLitt I hypothetically decided I would do this year.
- That no matter how hard I search, this coat:

is fucking sold out!

and most importantly, I found out this year's winner of the Mslexia short story competition that one of my super faves - Jackie Kay judged.

Apparently the winner is 25; a doctor and this is the first short story she has written since high school. No, totally not jealous at all :)

I think I need a snooze now. I'm tired after learning a whole lot of nothing :)
Until next time.